We are social creatures. It is because of this that we are only as strong as our connections to others. Today, in our modern Western culture, we tend to isolate ourselves. Either through our current cultural design flaws and/or through our unhealthy ways of thinking & being, we isolate ourselves; thereby narrowing our view of the world. There has been plenty of research to suggest that conditions such as depression and addictions have a high correlation with social isolation [1,2,3]. Indeed, even crime & social isolation has high correlation [4]. So this is not an article about your one and only “relationship” as deemed by our monogamous centred culture. I am a relationship anarchist and as such I have many relationships in my life which are special to me. This is a presentation of some ways in which we can connect with others; be they lovers or friends. Remember healthy relationships require negotiation and consent. Not all of these will be appropriate for everyone, and that’s okay. Talk about your connections, strengthen your bonds. I invite you to let me know what works for you.
Be present We experience intimacy in the present moment, and being present as much as possible deepens your connection. Being mindful, when the mind wanders, bring it back. Deep Conversations & Communication
Touch (non-sexual) (with consent, of course) We’ve become such a touch deprived world. I’m not advocating inappropriate touching, what I am advocating is appropriate touch with consent. This requires communication. When we touch we have the hormone Oxytocin release which makes us feel happy and loved. Who doesn’t want to feel loved?
Get Spiritual Meditate together. Don’t know how? Learn together! The goal of spirituality is your connection to divinity/ Universal Energy or Consciousness/ your own personal understanding of GOD. However, it can be a great way to bond with someone and grow closer to share your own perspectives & beliefs. Eye gaze Eye contact/gazing. It might feel a little weird or confronting at first, but it can really help with intimacy. Talk about the experience afterwards. More ways to increase intimacy
So how did you resonate with those? How do you define your relationship with others? Are there specific boundaries and categories? Or are you a freestyler, like me, who wants more out of life by pushing the limits enforced upon us? By strengthening our bonds with others we become stronger, healthier, not just as an individual, but also our community. Let’s invite those who are disassociated back into our community, teach, share & learn with them. Watch how they can bloom, and so can you. You know, we really can change the world.
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AuthorLista Gough Archives
March 2018
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